so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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