did you get engaged???
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
