I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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