So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
