No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
