And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize