do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
