At least make sure they are 18
Why
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
