is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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