Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
