i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Rumble strips road head = magical
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
