Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
