Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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