If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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