I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
