so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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