it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You made out with two different species that night
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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