did you get engaged???
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
