Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
