I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
These tits shall not be calmed
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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