I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
