In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
