girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
