We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
