I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
