New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
