I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He kissed a someone with a penis
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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