When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
