haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize