You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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