You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize