his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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