i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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