Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
