She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
