why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize