The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
