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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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