Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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