We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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