Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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