so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
