it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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