Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
