Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
