you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
