I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize