Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
