Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
