that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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