It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
