seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize