i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
All the doctor said was why
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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