Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Two words: blizzard sex
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
