I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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