At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
