And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
