I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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