Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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