suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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