I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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