I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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