Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
only if we run a train.
done.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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