im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
