I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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