How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
