I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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