I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
