I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
